Paris Duong 《 Things I Couldn't Say Before 》 美國

        My name is Paris Ocean Duong. I am eleven years old, and I am in fifth grade. I now live with  my aunt (Kim  De  Duong)  and my  cousin  (Meghann) due to  certain circumstances. Since my grandpa (Cau Duong) and my  aunt are members of the  Duc Duc  Alumni  Association  which  is  calling  for  submissions  for  the  magazine  that marks its 10th anniversary, I am more than happy to submit this piece of mine.

        The night I stepped into the police car changed my life forever. At that time,  my mind wandered around aimlessly.  It felt like part of me had  broken away, as if I were a simple puzzle piece  that fell off.  I wanted to scream and cry in  agony,  agony from being taken from my mother. I could not handle the feeling of discomfort.

        I, then, settled into a stranger’s house, a foster home to be exact. I went to school as usual: Millbrook Elementary, the only place where I made real friends. Everything went as routine: everyday kids bustled about, bells rang, and teachers taught whatever they possibly could. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, looked at me weirdly. For once,   I felt like a  piece of a  puzzle  that  fit in with the  entire  puzzle. I was shaped almost perfectly,  yet I was still imperfect. Nevertheless, the little details didn't bother me. I was happy and that was all that mattered.

         I  stayed at the stranger’s house  for a  few  months.  Afterwards,  I moved to my aunt’s house.  There,  I  met my  grandparents,  cousins,  aunts,  and  uncles  from  my  father’s side. After a few weeks, I finally made a proper connection with them. There were  no  words to  describe  the feelings  that I had.  The  only thing  I could say  was that I was happy. My aunt’s house was not big, but it was comfortable. I could always depend on my aunt to comfort me.  I  was  grateful to my aunt for taking me in,  and I will always be.  She is always kind and caring.  My  aunt  made a huge impact on MY life.

        After  I  moved  to my aunt’s house,  I  continued to go to  Millbrook.  I met  new friends and greeted old.  I was happy,  but  there  was  always a thought that nibbled in the back of my head.  It made me want to look around and think,  “I’m not  normal.”  I could change the way that I look and act. I could  even change the way I treated others. I  could  change  anything  and  everything except the fact that I was not normal.  I got sick frequently, but I was still able to do normal  things.  I could make friends.  I could play basketball.  I could play games.  I  did  everything  normally,  but,  still,  I  wasn’t normal. Even in this situation, I wouldn’t change anything about my life.

         Everything  is  perfect  just the way it is because of my aunt and the love that she has given me. As I continue to experience life,  I learned that those with great patience will always receive good results in the  “end”. I don't know when the  “end”  is for me,  but I am  not afraid.  I wouldn’t change the details of my life, for such  change  would have ultimately  resulted in a different outcome of my life.  I wouldn’t have known my family well. I wouldn’t be able to do normal things.  Now, I have a story like everyone else.  I know things…  No one could  mend the real  wound in my heart,  but,  at some point,  I  realized that my misery was an old war wound throbbing in bad weather.  It’s a  reminder  of a horrible  memory that can never be erased,  but it was also a reminder of how far I’ve come.

        “I’m a real wonder. And no one can tell me otherwise…”